Rovena and Rick's relationship moments
This post was first written in 2017 but it's just as true now as it was then.
The challenge of getting prepared for the Relationship Workshop is that we immediately ran into relationship challenges. Big ones. Tools don’t work (or at least it feels like they don’t). The brain thinks it would be easier to be single. But you know what, you just keep going. You persevere. We’ve been there before, we’ll probably get there again. But with every year that we’ve been together, every challenge we overcame, the commitment just grows stronger. The knowing that even if it’s tough now we just need to keep going and it’ll get better.
Rick has been incredibly patient. I have been incredibly cranky. Perimenopause is not a walk in the park. It feels like a roller coaster (without a safety harness) . His kindness defuses my crankiness and the nonsense which makes me feel even more guilty. I’m acting out (not proud of myself).
It’s hard to share. But it’s real and we move through it - doing the very best we can.
And at the end he is my rock and I’m his sunshine and it's all that matters.
It’s during times like this I wonder - what makes it work? And I think it’s not luck. It’s not even what we do during tough times. It’s what we do in between. We don’t let conflict grow out of proportion. We are there for each other. When I’m down, he brings me up. When he needs me, I'm there. We reach out to each other, we learn to reconnect even when we don’t want to. I know he’s got my back and he knows I've got his. He knows just how much I love and adore him. No games. No pretence. No secrets.
It's not easy, but it's so worth it.
Rick says: “We don’t let things build up, practice hearing each other without attacking when we are triggered, understating how we are different in our needs(that’s a big one), and communicating”.
What makes it work for you through tough times?