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© 2020 by Rovena's Sanctuary Inc.

emotionally focused couples therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term (eight to 20 sessions) and structured approach to couples' therapy developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s.

The goal of EFT is to work toward what's called "secure attachment". that is, the idea that each partner can provide a sense of security, protection, and comfort for the other, and can be available to support their partner in creating a positive sense of self and the ability to effectively regulate their own emotions [1]

Foundation of EFT

 

EFT views the central problem in a distressed relationship as the loss of secure emotional connection and the negative patterns that both reflects and perpetuates this loss. Compelling emotional signals that are meant to pull a partner closer or reduce conflict, become distorted and shaded with criticism, anger, or indifference. Negative spirals of interaction then erode trust and continually exacerbate each partner's natural vulnerabilities and sense of isolation. 

 

How can EFT help

EFT helps partners to take control of this negative dance and to clarify their emotional signals about attachment needs and fears in a way that encourages their partner to respond with love and compassion. A new emotional experience of secure connection, a sense that the other person can be ACCESSIBLE, RESPONSIVE, AND ENGAGED (A.R.E.) transforms love relationships. Partners who are able to openly reach for and connect with each other can create the effective dependency that makes for a safe haven bond 

 

How can EFT help

How Rovena uses the Gottman Method to help you build a stronger relationship:

 

  • We start with an comprehensive assessment and then create an individualized roadmap, or a plan that will help you create a fulfilling, supportive, beautiful relationship

  • After this, you and your partner will fill out an online evaluation separately that will help identify the strengths and the weak points (or problem areas) of your relationship.

 

  • Next, I may have one-on-one sessions with each partner as needed. This is an opportunity to discuss things with me alone, and will help to ensure I hear your concerns and intentions.

 

  • Based on the results of the evaluation and our individual sessions, we co-create a plan on how to move forward.

 

  • Using this plan, we will have sessions together. You’ll learn the tools and the skills you need to handle conflicts, develop deeper compassion and understanding, improve intimacy, and create a meaningful life together.

 

  • The intention of the Gottman Method is to empower you with tools so, by the end of our work, you feel confident that you can discuss anything and find solutions together. You’ll bell well on your way to becoming a relationship master (and not relationship Disaster, as Dr. Gottman calls it)!

 

Results of the Gottman Method for couples

 

  • Increased affection and closeness

  • Increased appreciation and respect

  • More fulfilling friendship and intimacy

  • Greater understanding in your relationship

  • Will help you build a life of shared meaning together

  • Manage conflict in a positive way and overcome gridlock

  • Build love maps and create rituals of connection

  • Improved communication skills - everyone feels heard and understood

  • Identify your relationship-specific strengths and how to build on them

  • Create an emotional bank account that you can draw on in times of stress

  • Help heal relationship injuries and resentments

  • Stronger emotional intelligence

 

7 Principles for Making Marriage (Relationships) Work

 

 

If you want to bring all of the above into your relationship, get in touch. If you have questions, please reach out as well. I’d be happy to talk to you and answer any questions you may have.